I know you did not just think about contributing your hard earned $$ to some dubious cause and then rubber-chicken out like some sort of condom-less prick that didn’t know you could get herpes on the internet.

This is no time to be an egg about the arts. Get your scrambled ass back to that payment page and show your ex that you can finish what you started or your postcard will be replaced with an email chain-letter circa 2001 that I’ll ask my hacker friend to revive from your old account dawsonfan4eva@aol.com.